CW Room

Cob woke to the sound of the heavy, humid breathing of Axl on his shoulder. As his eyes peeled open, he saw the familiar American Bully staring down at him. His tongue was thick with drool and Cob could’ve sworn there was a smile on his face. 

Must be the morning again. Curse this time of day, thought Cob, venomously. He felt around the bed for his wife, but she was absent yet again. Immediately, he threw the covers off and climbed out of bed to begin his day. 

Kat must be at work again. Cob rolled his eyes as he spotted the empty coffee pot. Trailed by little Axl, Cob made his way around the house gathering his daily supplies. He turned his computer on, blasted the speakers with the customary morning dose of downtempo jazz and poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Axl watched as Cob completed his morning ritual before he made his way to his doggie bowl for brunch. Cob noted he’d have to refill the bowl again today. He mused to himself that this dog went through food as though he were pregnant. His memory flashed to the days where Kat purposely starved herself despite knowing the consequences it would have on the pregnancy. 

Just as Cob was lightening up again, the memory put him in a sour mood and he sat at his desk to begin his daily gaming session. Cob hadn’t worked for a year and a half now. He had been a successful lawyer back in their hometown, Pennsylvania, before everything happened. 

He and Kat had been through a lot since the pregnancy. Cob went on sabbatical, the pregnancy failed, they adopted little Axl and moved to Berlin for Kat’s job. Kat had thrown herself into work the minute she found out about the pregnancy. She had claimed she’d always wanted to become Chief of Surgery and that she wanted to prioritise that before she could begin taking care of a child. 

Her work hours only increased with their move to Berlin and she was absent from the house from sunrise to dinnertime on most days. This was another one of those days where Cob had to pass the time until Kat was home. He had nothing else to do. Since they’d migrated to Berlin, Cob’s patience had been wearing thin at this arrangement. He was nearing his breaking point. 

He needed something to do. He needed a purpose, and he’d been researching opportunities to make this possible. He found the only way he could practise law in Berlin was by attending university classes again and acquiring the relevant degree. His degree from the prestigious University of Pennsylvania would not be able to help him, and as Kat was determined to focus on her career in Berlin, this was his only choice.

He would finally bring it up with Kat at dinner this evening. Kat had understood the importance of a career, so the peculiarity of the situation would hopefully be overshadowed. He passed the time until after sundown when Kat finally made it back to the house. She greeted Cob with a smile on her way to the kitchen to start dinner. She was spilling stories about her day in a hurry to catch him up, as though the night could not begin before she filled him in. 

“It’s actually crazy how little people understand about the brain, you know?” She launched. “Mr. Müller, the patient I was telling you about, remember? He actually thought the brain just floated around in his skull. Just swooshing around up there. Can you Imagine?” 

She giggled as she danced around the kitchen, preparing the most delicious smelling salmon that Cob had ever had the pleasure of smelling. 

“I had two aneurysms today and a tumour follow up consultation.” Kat went on. “Back breaking, this work. Have you prepped tonight’s movie?” 

Cob had only been half listening until she asked this. His attention snapped back to the conversation, pushing the salmon to second place. He had been too preoccupied all day that he’d forgotten about their movie night date. 

“Ah, shit, sorry. Completely slipped my mind.” Cob scratched his head. “I’ve been pretty busy, honestly. I need to talk to you.” 

Kat turned to face him, her face fell to a disappointed, then serious expression. She sat next to Cob and asked what was wrong. He began explaining his feelings. He felt purposeless, worthless and missed working. He missed knowing the law and being relied on and competing with coworkers as they pushed each other to do better.

Kat listened with a concerned expression that slowly turned into a frown . Cob explained how he planned to go about the process of legally practising law in Germany, and when he finished, Kat crossed her arms. She got to her feet and began pacing. Kat took small steps that filled Cob with anticipation. 

A few moments later, she eyed Cob suspiciously.

“You realise that we’re in our mid-thirties, right?” She paused momentarily. “So are all our friends?” 

He knew this would be a sticking point. “Yes, but this is the only way for me to practise in Germany.” 

Kat rolled her eyes impatiently and Cob was reminded of all the fights that they had about the pregnancy.

“You realise I only ever stopped working because you didn’t want to take care of our child, right?” Cob began raising his voice. “Also, don’t forget that I moved here for you and your career that you cared so much more about.” 

“I told you I wasn’t ready. It was a mistake!” She bellowed. “It’s been over a year since, why is this coming up again? I thought we were past it.” 

“Sure, we’re past it, but you need to realise what I gave up for you. Stop being such a selfish prick and think about me for once.” 

“I think of you, that’s how I know you’re not a kid. We’re not in our twenties anymore, we can’t be going to university, what would our friends think?” 

“I don’t care what our friends think, I’m not happy”

“See a therapist, leave the house every once in a while. For the love of god, Cob, get a goddamn job.” 

“What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do?” 

“Embarrass me. You can do anything else, but you want to go to undergraduate school instead, like a fucking child.” 

Kat and Cob kept going well into midnight. Cob was even flabbergasted at one point after she suggested he work at a supermarket. She never once thought to suggest consultancy or even that he stoop low enough to become a legal assistant. 

He was infuriated and consciously slammed the bedroom door behind him as he made his way to the couch that night. His resentment grew the next morning when Kat was out to work by the time he woke. 

Cob decided that this wouldn’t be another day where he waited at home for her. He was going for a drive. Hell, he would take Axl with him so Kat could come home to an empty house. Just because. 

Cob drove around through the morning and into sundown, refuelling once along the way. How could she care so little for him? When he first suggested having a child, she had put his plans aside, prioritising her career over him. When she got pregnant, she prioritised her figure and patients over their relationship again, regardless of how it affected him.

She once again prioritised something else over him when he was clearly looking for a purpose. He felt aimless in life, and now he felt discarded by his wife, the one person who was supposed to care about his feelings more than anyone else. 

This was his last straw, he concluded. He was going to leave her. He’d get back home, pack his bags and get out of this stupid country. He knew transporting Axl would be a nightmare, on short notice, so he decided to let Kat deal with him. He’d be a memento of the pain in the ass that she thought their child was going to be. 

He remembered how vehemently against starting a family she was before she got pregnant. He’d been a fool to underestimate her self-righteousness. How could he have possibly thought that she’d change her mind after she was forced to reckon with the reality that she was pregnant. 

All that time wasted orchestrating the circumstances that led to the pregnancy. All the time he wasted at home, hoping she’d be weighed down by the stress and finally agree to stay home. The time he wasted researching abortion drugs, landing on Misoprostol, getting it delivered and crushing it up into her drinks just to cause her the depression that would force her to recognise that she wanted a child as much as he wanted her to. 

How can she be so stubborn? How was she still so cold and unfeeling? Why had he ever wanted a future with her, or in fact to be with her at all.

As nightfall approached, he drove in the direction of their house, appreciating the scenery that he decided he would never see again after tonight. He was leaving, he’d made up his mind.

As he approached the house down the road, he examined the driveway he was about to park on. There she was, Kat, making her way out of her car. She was only just getting home from work, unusually late for supper. 

She was going to leave him to starve tonight, too? This bitch. 

He was done. This was no longer the woman he fell in love with. He saw her figure in the driveway, disgusted that she had gained weight. and it was clear that she was no longer willing to put in any effort into this marriage. Not for him, their lives or any potential future they could have had together. He was making the right call. It was time for him to leave, no strings attached.

He accelerated into the driveway. Satisfaction flowed through him as the car thumped and clanked over the body that lay underneath. Axl whined at the commotion, but Cob was busy reviling in his decision. He was looking forward to leaving this place, along with Kat, behind. He’d never see Axl again anyway, so it didn’t matter.

He exhaled calmly, checked his hair in the rearview mirror and climbed out of the car, careful to avoid the puddles of blood that were spreading on the ground. 

Cob flipped through his keys one at a time and inserted the correct one into the lock. Poised and steady as he was, he felt the room brighten up. He decided it was rather scenic and that he would miss this house. 

His shoulders felt lighter. Cob was going home. A few hours later, past midnight, he found himself in the airport at a coffee kiosk while as he waited for this flight. He had won and was on his way to freedom. A smile graced his face and he walked towards home with a coffee in hand.