CW Room

Traveling, starting a new job, or moving to a new distant neighbourhood all take you farther away from the circle you call your comfort zone.

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. It seems like everyone sets up shop in childhood, collecting friends in second grade or seventh and turning them into lifelong friends.

As children, it’s almost like there’s not enough mental capacity to know about social obstacles. Meanwhile, adults will have developed the mental capacity to be able to perceive the world, societal norms and the consequences that come with it.

We grow up to learn right from wrong and good from bad, develop likes, dislikes and fears and become fully independent human beings with full thought processes on serious topics.

But it seems like the expense is the ability to make friends. It’s a positive skill, so why do we lose that ability?

Skill

Shouldn’t we be making positive growth, maintaining positive traits and growing past our negative ones?

I don’t think I’ve ever possessed that skill. The friends I have came to me, so I had no skill to lose as an adult. Though let me tell you, attempting to learn that skill once I moved countries was a feat in its own right.

Plus, once you’ve made new acquaintances, how does one find the time to hang out with them or get to know them? The little time there is in the week is time you need to recharge and reconnect with yourself – or maybe that’s the introvert in me speaking.

Overwhelming need to fit in

It’s a tough thing though, maintaining friendships as an adult. You’ve got responsibilities, jobs, morals and ideals that make you who you are and it’s hard to find someone, let alone more than one person, who can fit into your life with no obstacles in the way.

Harder so to find time to spend on them and nurture your friendship to grow past the surface level.

It’s lucky, then, if you’ve made friends in your childhood and carried them into adulthood where you already know each other and don’t have to spend too long trying so hard.

Still, not everyone can say that. In fact, I’ve found that it’s uncommon for people to have childhood friends that they feel close to and can be themselves with. So what do these people do?

It really feels like some people shave off some parts of themselves to please others. I actually don’t know – I’m at a loss. Every friend I’ve made was pre-adulthood and responsibility, so I’m curious to know how people make friends.

Do people compromise their nature to fit in, or is it simply a case of growing past your existing comfort zone and experiencing new ways of life?

Purpose and Perspective

Well it depends on your perspective. Think on this: Why are you in this position? If you’ve just moved countries or you’re contemplating this change, why is that?

You have a goal in mind, and you pursue it despite knowing your comfort zone won’t be there to cushion your fall. So what makes this worth the risk?

Is it a job that you want to succeed in, or freedom that you seek? Whatever you are in pursuit of is what you have to keep in mind when you find yourself outside of your comfort zone.

Once you’re in a new country, it’s your responsibility to keep yourself afloat. Remembering your purpose is a big part of that.

You won’t be the only one with this purpose, and you can use it to make new friends! If your interest is travel, go on exploration adventures or book tours in your city.

If your interest is books, head off to a bookstore or a library and spend your time there. If you work from home or you’re a student, working at a coffee shop could help you!

Conclusion

Take a trip! visit a new city. Take a hike climb a mountain ride a boat fly a plane but do something! take that adventure because you should never let your comfort zone, friends, or lack thereof, stop you.

That’s how you’ll meet those new friends. You’ll be on a group trip or you’ll be doing something particularly interesting to you. you’ll be experiencing things you’ve always wanted to experience and all of a sudden, you’ll come across people who feel the same way.

It won’t be right otherwise. That’s how you get out of your comfort zone rather than moulding yourself to please others. You got this, just believe in yourself, and let me know how you fare!

Thanks for reading 🙂